From the inside out

If I asked you to stop, you’d still invade me

flaunting ebony body and wings of dawn.

If I begged you not to intrude, you’d still paralyze me

my web notwithstanding, you’d still advance;

and your venom that is no venom feels so pleasant

it rushes through my insides transporting me

to an unclaimed heaven where I feel no pain

no anguish, no hunger, no loneliness, no want.

If I could ask you to stop, at this point I suppose

you wouldn’t go back and find someone else to trespass.

You lay them on me and I still can’t move

can’t feel, can’t object, can’t accept, only observe;

I wait and I wait, and in turn, so do you

so do they.

You for yours

yours for theirs

and I for yours

to mature,

hatch

and feast on my living flesh

devouring me

from the inside out.

By tuttysan © 2007

If you’re curious what this poem is about, read this and this.


This entry was posted in poems and tagged .

4 comments to From the inside out

  1. Okay! I have stopped myself from visiting the two links provided at the bottom in spite of my curiosity. I think this is about the wasp in the picture. They lay their eggs inside some spider perhaps?

    There is another kind of wasp which does the same to caterpillars.

    Now, I will go and see how far I am from the mark ……..

  2. Good so good, princesa. It took my breath away… You have in common with some of the best poets the technique of putting your words on the table, copping to the “fact” that what is on display is of course an illusion, and once the reader’s defenses are down, sneaking in with an often devastating emotional wallop. Is not an easy poem for tender sensibilities, but it is a discomfiting masterpiece, once read impossible to forget or shake off. Your extraordinary poetic power rise to the level of dark poetry, as ‘From inside out’ is essentially a duet for two monsters (?) locked in mortal, extasiante and sensual combat for life.

    I love your writing, bichito. You’re a creative writer and an authentic talent. I hope you are filled with new inspiration who could light up your poetry or explain just certain feelings, as well as certain doings, vibrate in the memory.

    Bueno mi reina, I’ll conclude this boring comment –abhor, by the way, was a word of abundant fascination for writers of the sixteenth and seventeenth century– asking you an entomologycal question… How’s life at Mojave National Preserve today? Tell me about the “Black Widow”, I will soak it in vicariously.

    PS. Te dejaré una cosita en ‘Ritual Secreto’, musa. Me introduje en tu corriente sanguínea para escribirlo y durante unas horas yo fui tú… Espero que te guste, aunque esta vez el asunto no va de arácnidos sino de gusanos. Unos seres que también pueden ser extraordinariamente sensuales en un contexto real o literario muy determinado… You know what I mean.

  3. tuttysan says:

    Thank you for the exercise Pablo and for the kind words. As you may tell, it got my brain working, because I’ve even made a couple of changes to the last verses after the first draft. I guess that’s the good thing about writing from an image outside of me: It’s not bound to feelings so I can go back and change things without changing the emotions that birthed the words. Thank you for pushing me in this direction! I shall go to your blog and pick up my gift.

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